Strawberry Fields

There are many occasions that call for a celebratory cocktail – anniversaries, birthdays, promotions, etc.  However, sometimes, when you are caught up in the weeds of life, you have to find reasons to celebrate – like, hey, it’s Thursday!  Let’s celebrate the upcoming weekend with a cocktail (ha-ha- yeah, “a” cocktail…).

And when you approach life with a positive mindset, the universe usually works with you.  Case in point, after deciding that Thursday evening was officially going to end with cocktails,  a farmers market miraculously (and by miraculously I mean that this event is held every Thursday) in the middle of the city… in the heart of strawberry season in Ontario.

Urban Market Versatile Cocktail Mix

1 quart of strawberries- washed and hulled

½ lemon – juiced

4 teaspoons sugar

½ cup water

Place in blender and puree until smooth.  Freeze any unused portion (as if..)

Strawberry Daiquiri

Urban Market Versatile Cocktail Mix (recipe above)

1 oz. rum

 

Strawberry Coconut Marguerita

Urban Market Versatile Cocktail Mix (recipe above)

1 oz. coconut infused tequila

Northern Comfort

Did everyone survive the deep freeze this past week?  Bloody hell I hate the cold.  I am yearning for the dog days of summer.  I’m not a sun worshipper – one look at my pale blue Scottish skin will tell you that – but I love the heat and no matter how stinking hot it gets in July and August I will never complain.  

These redonkulous frigid temperatures have caused me lose my mojo.  I have literally done NOTHING all week except wake up – go to work – come home – put my jammies on.  I have a tonne of things to do but when it gets this cold I lose all motivation.   Time for some comfort food to nourish the soul.

I have read that men tend to prefer savoury comfort foods like soup, stews and casseroles and that women lean toward sweet foods such as chocolate, ice cream and cake.  Yet again my theory that I am a drag queen trapped in a woman’s body holds true, because comfort to me is all about the savoury….with a side of boozy. 

So tonight's menu was designed was designed to test these gender theories and to lift the spirits featuring comfort foods...with a twist.  Yes, the twists are kind of creative, but they are rooted in unabashed laziness.  Lack of mojo is the mother of invention I say.  Also, I am in the middle of moving, so all baking utensils and pretty glassware have been packed up already (sorry for the boring photos).
 

Turkey Pot Pie Soup

1 cup cooked turkey (I used turkey to finally use up the frozen left over Christmas turkey, but you can sub with chicken)

2 cups frozen vegetable mix

1 can condensed cream of potato soup

1 can condensed cream of chicken soup

2 cups skim milk

Pepper (to taste)

Dried sage (to taste)

Poultry seasoning (to taste)

1 pre-made frozen pie crust

Combine turkey (or chicken), vegetables, soup mixes, milk and seasonings in a large sauce pan.  Simmer on low until it comes to a boil.  Note that the soup will be thin but this is what you want - the pie crust will thicken the final product.

Meanwhile, cook pie crust as per package directions.  Let cool and crumble with a potato masher.  

Ladle soup into bowls and top with crushed pie shell.

 

Chocolate Cake Martini

1 part Cake Vodka

1 part Chocolate Vodka

Pour into shaker and shake well.

Downton Abbey Season 3

Who is pumped for the North American debut of Downton Abbey Season 3?  Cannot wait until Shirley Maclaine makes her debut as Lady Grantham’s mother and I am eagerly awaiting the acid jibes that is sure to be exchanged with Lady Violet. 


Season 3 of Downton will take us up to the early 1920's.  I am obsessed with the Roaring Twenties.  How can you not love Jazz Age Flappers?  They defied convention by wearing short skirts and lots of make-up, they cursed, acted outlandish and drank cocktails.  Hellz yeah!  And despite Prohibition in the U.S. and parts of Canada, there sure was a lot of Spiritz happening! 

Get your jazz age on by dropping some of these slang words popular back in the day.

Barneymugging-- Sex

Bee's Knees -- The ultimate

Brooksy--Classy dresser

Cat's Meow--Something great or stylish

Cellar Smeller--A young man who always turns up where liquor is to be had without cost

Edisoned--Being asked a lot of questions

Father Time--Any man over 30 years of age

Giggle Water -- An alcoholic beverage

Lemon Squeezer--An elevator

Rock of Ages--Any woman over 30 years of age

Spiffy -- All dressed up

Swell -- Wonderful

Tomato--A young woman shy of brains

You sure don’t have to be a tomato to know that it sure is swell to be a rock of ages cellar smeller who likes to barneymug my father time in a lemon squeezer after some giggle water. 

Thankfully there is no need to swill any bathtub gin tomorrow night.  Instead behold the

Louise Brooks Martini 

Ingredients:

1-1/2 oz Chambord Vodka

Preparation:

Shake with ice and pour into a cocktail glass. Garnish with a blackberry and a lime twist.

Check out this great blog written by Hari - she blogs about all things flapper www.flapperchic.com. I am a little jealous as she is from the U.K. and has already seen Season 3 of Downton Abbey.

"I wish I could drink like a lady.

I can take one or two at the most.

Three and I’m under the table.

Four and I’m under the host." -- Dorothy Parker

"Yule" Shoot Your Eye Out

Oh fudge!  I wish that I had the time to visit NYC right now.   From now until December 30^th you can catch Broadway’s tribute to my ultimate favourite Christmas movie – “A Christmas Story – The Musical”.  It’s playing at the Lunt-Fontanne theatre on 46^th Street, which is an absolutely beautiful venue.  Ooh, I want to go so bad!! 

I am very curious about the music in the Broadway show.   What scenes do you think will be turned into musical numbers? *Sigh* Ah, well.  I will just have to content myself to watching the movie for the umpteenth time.  To ease my sorrows, I christened the following cocktail, “Yule" Shoot Your Eye Out!” 

The non-alcoholic recipe came from a former boss of mine.  Once when I had the flu, she recommended a drink that her mom would make for her when she was a little girl and feeling poorly.  She said that it would help ease my throat.  The drink was a combination of honey, lemon and ginger ale warmed in the microwave.  She was right!  However, I discovered that when you microwave ginger ale, it becomes like, twenty times more effervescent.  The bubbles literally pop out of your mug all over your face.  So, I thought, why not "Irish it up" a bit?  Hence the inspiration for the name.

"Yule" Shoot Your Eye Out!

½ can ginger ale

1 tbsp honey

1 wedge of lemon

1 oz. brandy

Place ginger ale, honey and brandy in a microwave safe mug.  Squeeze the juice out of the lemon wedge.  Microwave for 1 minute.  Put on eye protection and enjoy.  Try it tonight.  I triple dog dare you!

http://www.broadway.com/shows/christmas-story

Walking Dead (S3) Mid-season finale

Ooh, big night tomorrow!  It’s the mid-season finale of The Walking Dead.  Let me tell you NOTHING will be getting done in my place tomorrow night between 9pm – 10pm when it airs.  How juicy will the cliff hanger be this year?  Last year's mid-season finale ended with the walkers being let out of Hershel's barn..and the big reveal of Sophia's whereabouts. 

I had a lovely themed meal planned for me and The Fella for the occasion. Unfortunately, my surprise emergency appendectomy put a wrench into the plan. Really not up for red meat & alcohol just yet. 

Here was the menu.  Since I did not make it, there are no pictures to share. 

The Walking Dead Menu

Main Course

“Ghoul”ash

2 ½ pounds stewing beef

2 onions chopped

2 cloves chopped garlic

10 mushrooms chopped

¾ tsp sea salt

Pepper (to taste)

1 tsp paprika

Dash hot sauce

1 cup beef broth

1 cup tomato juice

1 cup red wine (1 tbsp reserved)

½ cup flour

1 tbsp olive oil

Heat olive oil in a pan.  Dredge the beef in the flour and brown the beef on all sides.   Place beef in a slow cooker.    Use the reserved tablespoon of red wine to deglaze the pan and add drippings to the slow cooker along with all other ingredients.  Stir ingredients and cook on low for 4 – 6 hours.  Serve on top of noodles or mashed potatoes.

Cocktail

Dirty Governor Martini

2 shots of vodka

1 shot of tomato juice

2 tbsp olive juice

1 tbsp vermouth

2 olives

In a cocktail shaker combine vodka & tomato juice. Shake. Add olive juice & vermouth and olives. Shake.   Pour & Serve.
 

Dessert

Walkers shortbread (the joke is so obvious). OK, I will indulge on a wee slice of this as a treat.

But I am up for getting glammed up for the event....
 

Shoes

I love these Iron Fist shoes.  Seriously, for me they are very versatile.  Unfortunately I can only get away with wearing them once a year to the office at Halloween.

 

 

Outfit

I will be cracking out my "I like you for your brains" shirt that I bought at K-Mart on a cross border shopping trip.   I love this shirt but it sheds glitter everywhere.   My sofa will end up looking like I just had a house party with The Village People.

 

Now we have to wait how many weeks for Season 3 to resume?

Old Lady Stuff

I can remember sitting in Mrs. Allen’s eighth grade class discussing the merits of Prince’s latest hit, 1999. My classmates (accurately) predicted that in 1999, this song would be played at New Year’s party across the land.   I vividly recall, saying in earnest, “Oh no.... on New Year’s Eve 1999 I will be thirty!!!!  I will be too old to even go out for  New Year’s Eve!!!” 

Well, 1999 was thirteen years ago – needless to say that not only did I turn thirty, but forty has also come and gone.  My fourteen year old self would be very proud of the fact that I go out every year for New Year's Eve.  I think she would also be proud to know that I still spend a big part of my life discussing music. 

However, she would be utterly disgusted at the fact that I am starting to take an interest in (and actually buy) what I like to call,  Old Lady Stuff.  

Here is my top five list:

1.     Plastic Rain Hat – Wait, don’t judge me yet – hear me out. Whenever it rains, I end up looking like Rosanna-Rosannadanna.  No umbrella(ella ella eh eh eh) can protect me from this fate.  A plastic rain hat would actually help prevent this from happening, but they are so gawd awful looking I actually prefer showing up for work with my head looking like a toilet brush than to be seen in public wearing one of these hats.  However, I like the concept and I think that with a little modernization and rebranding, it could be genius.  Maybe a design tweak so they don’t look so frumpy?  Maybe a hounds-tooth trim?  Maybe a Coach insignia?  Are you with me now?  Look for me on Dragon’s Den.  I bet Arlene Dickenson would be all over it.

2.     Bundle Buggy – Yes, I own one of these.  In my defence, the purchase was made out of sheer necessity.  My underground parking is being renovated and my car has been relocated to another building a block away.  The bundle buggy helps me lug all of my groceries (yes, and shoe purchases) back to my building.  Here’s the thing – I actually love it.  In the summer I am totally going to channel my inner granny and pull it behind me when I walk downtown to the Farmer’s Market.  You will find me smack dab in the middle of all the old-lady-bundle-buggy gridlock, shoving all the youngin’s out of the way.  I can’t wait.

3.      Bunion Orthotic – Unfortunately, if I do not invest in one of these within the next year, I can kiss my days of wearing high-heels good -bye forever.  The irony is not lost on me that the reason I need one of these bad boys in the first place is from wearing towering high-heels for the past two decades.  I would only have to wear it at night – but this doesn’t help me get my head around it.  Let’s face it, even if you’ve got your ladies hoisted up in a Victoria’s Secret Angel Bra and you are wearing your sexiest undies, your partner’s eye will immediately be drawn to the bunion orthotic.

4.      Gin – If it was good enough for the Queen Mum it is good enough for me.  Gin seems to be the de rigueur Spiritz for the elderly lady.  Of course I will mix it with tonic water – and modernize it with a few cucumber slices (try it – it’s a nice twist).  I will walk around with the classic, stylish old lady scent of Chanel No. 5 and juniper berries.

5.      Botox – When the time is right I am seriously considering it.  I don’t want to look ridiculous like an episode of Ex-Wives of Rock, but maybe just a little preventative maintenance.   I figure that on the day that I am cremated, I will be so full of Botox & Gin that my funeral pyre will burn for three weeks ...minimum.

You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch

Bloody hell I hate November.

I hate that when I leave for work in the morning and when I come home from work in the early evening it feels like 2 o'clock in the morning. If I'm lucky, I can press my nose against my office window and soak in a wee ray of light during the day.  The lack of sunshine makes me feel a bit like a vampire.  Don't even get me started on the cold. Yes, I know, I live in Canada and I should be use to it. But I am a first generation Canadian-- so it's not like it's in my genes or anything so I didn't inherit a tolerance to the cold through natural selection. And it's not like I'm going to reproduce and pass on cold-hardy DNA to any offsprings.  The only genes that I will pass on are my DvB jeans (don't laugh Vivieen - hope that Ben is looking forward to inheriting a wardrobe full of handbags and the odd designer piece). Nope, I love the heat and sometimes (like in the month of November) I wish that I lived in the desert...well, an urban-centre desert, with trendy shoe shops and good restaurants.  

It's nights like these when I am walking home from the train that I get the urge to come home and do something daft to cheer me up. Towards the mid to end of November my thoughts turn to the upcoming holidays. The festivity of December sure gets me out of my dark, cold funk. So I usually begin the holiday festivities early...and it pisses me off when people make snarky comments like "oh, it's too early, blah, blah". So to those folks, buggar off--this stuff brightens my spirit. 

So, in honour of all the cheer dampening jerks, I look to pop culture's most famous wanna-be party pooper, The Grinch, for a bit of fun inspiration.  And what better way to lift your spirits than with funky seasonal spiritz!

                                                                      The Grinch Cocktail 

2 oz. Melon liqueur 

Squeeze lemon juice

1 tsp. simple syrup

Enjoying this fun libation is guaranteed to make your heart grow three sizes!

I have always though that Pablo looked like Max, no?

So if you feel the urge to chastize me for my early, week night celebration, may I just say, "You're a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwhich...with arsenic sauce!"

 

Papagayo

On Saturday night I had a much needed girlie catch up night with my bestie mates Vivieen, Robin and Diane.  I hate that our busy lives force us to plan these nights at least a month in advance but on the bright side, the planning ahead makes me look forward to it even more so.  We usually try any new establishment that has opened (provided that they have their liquour license).  Otherwise we alternate between our two fav Hamilton restaurants - La Luna and Papagayo.   Margaritas were calling our names this evening, so Papagayo won the coin toss.

Papagayo is a funky little place in downtown Hamilton that I have been frequenting for about fourteen years now. The food is always great and their dessert menu is uh-ma-zing!  Not to mention their margaritas - they stock an impressive selection of tequila - no Cuervo Gold swill.  I also love an establishment that lets us chat and laugh for an extended period of time without charging us rent.

Vivieen had her fingers & toes crossed that the orange roughy would be the daily special.  Vivieen is the kind of best mate that a girl could ever hope for--she would give you the shirt off her back, but apparently this orange roughy is so good she would stab a fork in your eye if you ordered the last one.  She actually clapped her hands with glee when she found out it was on the menu for this evening.  I had the chimichanga with the Papagayo cesar salad - with peach margaritas on the side!

Prior to our visit, I had heard that Papagayo had made some changes to their menu.  When I Googled "Papagayo" this restaurant was the first hit.  The second and third hits were very interesting.   Apparently Papagayo is a lip-syncing program designed line up mouth shapes with actual recorded sound of actors speaking. Holy smokes!  I am totally a drag queen trapped inside a woman's body.  Think about it - if I could wear a tiara and feather boa to work I would, I love a well timed bitchy comment, and hey, I dig the fellas!  Therefore lip-syncing is one of my favourite hobbies. 

This search also revealed something called the "Papagayo wind", which is a north to northeasterly wind which periodically blows through the gap in the mountain ranges of Central America.   Well, after a night at Papagayo I too have a north to northeasterly wind which periodically blows through a gap in my mountain ranges.

No wonder I have such an affinity for this place.

Highly recommend the chocolate-chilli cheesecake (sweet with an after burn)

and the tequila lime cheesecake (garnished with a drizzle of Patron)

Painted Lady and a Bottle Of Wine

After sampling wine made by friends at Brew Time on Upper James Street in Hamilton (www.brewtime.ca),  The Fella & I decided to experiment with making our own wine.  We decided that our first batch would be red wine.

I have a love/hate relationship with red wine -- I love it but unfortunately it is not very kind to me. It's not that it makes me sick... let's just say it doesn't make me very...um... attractive.

About 10 years ago my friend Liz & I were both single on Valentine's Day. We decided to thumb our noses at the society of coupledom & off we went to paint the town red.  With red wine that is.

We had ourselves a pretty damn fine time. Towards the end of the evening I spotted a fella who I kept seeing around town who I quite fancied. I had never spoken to him -- I would just keep bumping into him & we would smile & nod to each other. Fuelled by cheap red plonk & pent up pheromones, I walked over to him and proceeded to chat him up. I went home feeling quite proud of myself that night. Not only did my singledom keep me from being hidden away from Valentines society, but I had the courage to initiate flirting. Girl power!

Smiling to myself, I walked into my bathroom to get ready for bed. It was then, in the mirror, that I discovered that the red wine had turned my teeth black...and given me a Jack Nicholson joker mouth. I would continue to see this cute guy around town...but he never, ever, looked my way again....

Now I only drink red wine in the privacy of my own home.

Brewing your own wine was a lot different from what I had built up in my own mind.  We had the pleasure of dealing with Vic at Brewtime who gave us a crash course on the different types of grape juice, we chose the Italian Classico Amarone and he walked us through the fermentation process which literally took no more than three minutes.  And there I was all nicely pedicured in anticipation of doing a Lucy & Ethel routine!  

Eight weeks later, through the magic of fermentation, our grape juice and yeast had magically turned into wine.  Sounds kinda biblical, no?  The bottling process was way more fun.  First, they cracked open the vat and extracted some Amarone for me to taste. Not to be conceited or anything, but it was damn delicious!  

                                                 

  

                                                        My new Christmas Tree!!!!

I had the very lovely Hannah teach me how to work the machine that transfers the wine from the vat to the bottles (which stops automatically when it reaches the top of the neck so no worry about spillage of the fine nectar) and how to work the corking machine.  Very fun!!  I felt so Falcon Crest!  

Hannah also created the groovy labels for me based on a design that I had emailed them. Lo & behold the birth of the Bitch n' Wine. 

We now have a batch of Pinot Grigio patiently going through the biblical process as I post this.